Chasing Peaks. Enduring Troughs. 1.1

Reverence | Apathy

I woke to the sound of a covered giggle and a nurse relentlessly trying to open a locked window. Apologising (again) she reassured me that it was because the room was getting hot.

It was approaching midnight on Thursday evening and rather than celebrating with fellow finishers, I had fallen asleep. For this was the first moment in the past four days, eleven hours and thirty minutes in which I did not have a low level anxiety driving a need to continuously move forward by whatever means possible. And whilst laying on a crumpled sheet of absorbent blue paper was far from luxury, this hospital bed was by far the most relaxed I’d been this week. The fact nine stitches were being applied to my right calf, nor the embarrassment of knowing that I lay here in the same jersey I first put on five days ago could disrupt this brief moment of utter relaxation. For I was charged by the pure reverence of completing the gruelling Basajaun off road ultra race. And whilst referencing it the best I could to try and add necessary context to my predicament - my efforts were met by pure apathy. They didn’t understand. They weren’t there. And they didn’t care.

Polarity is commonplace in sport. Opponent Process Theory (Richard Solomon, 1980) explains how the management of seemingly opposite forces ultimately creates balance and embracing both poles are inseparable parts of the same experience.

Without the suffering of pain, the pleasure of accomplishment would not be so pronounced. Short term stress balances with the resulting adaptation that recovery facilitates. The stronger the temptation to stop, fuels the burning desire for completion.

These opposites are the essence of challenge, the essence of ultra sport.